Braver

The topic my husband, Jonathan and I were assigned to speak on in church this week was pride.  I am always so grateful for the opportunity to speak since I get to study, learn and really think about what I believe to be true.  I am a better person for having taken the time to prepare and present a message.  The biggest takeaway I had from this experience was that I should never let my pride keep the Lord from doing what he intends to do with me.  I especially liked the following quote I used from C.S. Lewis in my talk:

“When a man turns to Christ and seems to be getting on pretty well (in the sense that some of his bad habits are now corrected), he often feels that it would now be natural if things went fairly smoothly.  When troubles come along—illness, money troubles, new kinds of temptation—he is disappointed.  These things, he feels, might have been necessary to rouse him and make him repent in his bad old days; but why now?  Because God is forcing him on, or up, to a higher level:  putting him into situations where he will have to be very much braver, or more patient, or more loving, than he ever dreamed of being before.  It seems to us all unnecessary:  but that is because we have not yet had the slightest notion of the tremendous thing He means to make of us.”

It made me think of the move we just made here to Connecticut.  I was quite happy where I was in Utah, and I know that was where I was supposed to be for a long time.  It didn't seem essential in my view that we leave.  I literally thought that if I had enough faith while my husband was searching for a new job, that we would get to stay.  I think that is still true if that had been the will of the Lord; however, he had something better in mind.  As the Lord says in the scriptures, “For my thoughts are not your thoughts, neither are your ways my ways, saith the Lord” (Isaiah 55:8).

I have had to be very much braver and more patient and more loving than I have ever dreamed of being before, but it has been so, so good for me.  I am already, after only three months here, a better person.  I am so grateful to the Lord for putting me in a place where I had no choice but to be more humble and teachable because it has caused me to connect more earnestly with the powers of heaven on a whole new level.  I know God lives and I am happy to admit that I was proud and immature to think that I could reach new heights without going through additional challenges.  I am so glad that we are often given, not what we want in life, but rather what is best for us.  The Lord is merciful and great.  I also like to keep in mind that indeed we have no idea just how "tremendous" he will make us if we let him.  I intend to be more submissive and trust more greatly in the Lord as time goes on.

Speaking of tremendous things, my awesome husband went and got us a couch on Tuesday.  It was free on Craigslist.  It is quite heavy and I was impressed with the strength my husband and two sons exhibited in getting it down the cellar stairs.  They literally prayed that they would have the strength needed to accomplish the task and that prayer was answered.  It has a big stain of some kind on one of the arms, but for the basement and for the price, it can't be beat.  I bought some new pillows to go with it today and I have to admit that it is mighty comfy.  I actually think that overall the leather has held up quite well and the best part of having this particular couch is that the two ends recline!  I may actually watch an entire movie again one day!  (The wooden bench we had down there before just wasn't enticing enough to coax me into sitting on it for an entire two hours.)  

Life is good.